BFF

Remember this?
Since then, my first baby…

has met her match.
these two have a love-hate relationship.
Larkin alternates between hitting her, and smothering her, but in the end usually just end up making out. It’s super gross. And the more I freak out when I catch them the happier Larkin gets about the whole deal.
On that note, Happy Weekend!

the year

oldie but goodie

So this weekend I was taking pictures, and suddenly the screen on my camera blinked the 2 more dreaded words in my photo taking life. CARD FULL.  
It’s an 8GB. That means I had thousands of pictures on there… just begging to be saved to my already way too full hard drive.

So tonight, after bath and bedtime, I sat down to clear it off. A job I h.a.t.e.
It’s so hard for me to hit “delete”. I love them all. 

Anyway… After going through 7 month old Christmas pictures, I started to find some treasures. And thought I better post them now.

Here are a few of my favorite outtake moments from the last 6 months.
all unedited. this is the real deal. 

her first fire this spring. She liked it; a little too much.

there. now to try to organize and edit the other million.

Larkin’s garden party themed birthday party

God must love us. We planned an outdoor, backyard birthday party, and wouldn’t you know it. sunshine, no wind, 75 degrees. What? Who would have guessed that in Iowa the weather would cooperate.

So somehow I talked these two into hanging poms in the trees about 20 minutes before the party. God loves them also. par-tay girlfeeding mama cake. why thank you. I love cake that has already been in your mouththere were many sweets, and many many small children. 2 of my favorite things. finger food buffetHappy Birthday sweet girl!

Larkin’s party was Saturday night, Sunday we took her one year pictures and she been sick ever since. Now yesterday she decided to give me the nasty virus she has. We went into the doctor today, and a prescription of “fight it off with time and rest”… and here we are. So glad she was healthy for her big weekend, but we are so ready to have our happy little girl back!

little bird

This was the day my life would be forever changed.  

Waiting for you little Larkin stretched me into a person I didn’t know I could be. I had never in my entire left felt more vulnerable, more anxious, and more excited than I had while we waited 10 weeks for you to be born. Minutes sometimes felt like hours, and I was sure that the pure exhaustion I felt from day to day of “waiting” would be enough to make me crazy.

and then, in a single moment one of the hardest things I would ever endure came to an end.
11:13 am
Wednesday
June 1, 2011 

a 6 pound 13 ounce tiny little girl was placed in my arms while tears of both joy and sorrow streamed down my face. 
I cried because my heart was half broken, for the woman lying on the table who had just undergone an operation in order to give this baby life.
I cried tears of joy because my heart had never felt so healed, completed, or fulfilled.  
I didn’t know if she would be mine for a few minutes, a few hours, a few days, or for a lifetime, but at that very moment; she was mine.  

It was the first day of her life, but really, it was the first day of my life too.
I was her mom.

Larkin LeNeta Kroeze, Today you turn 1.

I don’t even need to say it, but still… I will.
I feel like I barely blinked, and a year has passed.

Your name means fierce, and it fits you. You are fiercely independent. Fiercely dislike napping & vegetables, and fiercely love to make people laugh. You don’t do anything half way. You are strong-willed and adventurous. You can climb an entire flight of steps in 10 seconds, and will pick every single pea off your tray and feed them to Daisee when I’m not looking.

You test me. Sometimes I feel like I am the end of my rope, because I just do not know what to do with you when you will. not. sleep. I cry because you are growing up too fast. Sometimes I’m afraid I will fail you. You need boundaries, and sometimes I ignore them because it’s easier to give in. I worry that you don’t eat healthy enough. I wish I took more time to sit and read to you. I am afraid that I will not be the example that I should be. But I promise you no matter how I fail (and I will) I will always be here for you. I will not take you for granted. You were entrusted to me, to watch you grow, by The One who loves you most of all… and that is not a job I take lightly.  

Your laugh is so contagious, and those lips.. those lips I wish I could kiss all day long.  You are so smart. You will try to copy almost anything we say.  When we ask you “Larkin, how old are you?” and say “two!” with a smile every time… no matter how hard I try to teach you to say “one”.  You have 5 teeth, weigh around 17lbs, and still prefer to crawl instead of walk.

I will always, always, love you; exactly the way you are.  You are so incredibly full of personality, and I love every bit of it. {even when it pushes me to my limits}
I cannot imagine one day of my life with out you. My heart ached so deeply for you before I even knew you, and after 1 year I can tell you that this parenting business has exceeded my expectations. Being your mommy is so much better than I could have ever imagined. God blessed our lives beyond our wildest dreams, when He gave us you.

Happy Birthday my lovely little lark.