for the record… I am sitting outside writing this. (with no shoes, or coat)
with a 10 day forecast consistently in the 50-60 degree range, I think it is finally safe to say it’s spring.
And all of Iowa says, HALLELUJAH!
Lately I haven’t been a pinterest mom, a healthy cooking mom, a creative mom, or even a fun mom.
I’ve been a surviving mom.
I’ve snapped at Larkin for making a mess 20 minutes before we had to show our house.
I’ve let her watch way too much TV, and ignored her requests to read a book, or play kitchen.
We’ve had more cereal and frozen pizzas than I ever want to admit.
I’ve ignored Lola’s whine when I know she just wants me to hold her.
I have felt more inadequate in the last couple of months, than I have ever felt in my life.
The needs are all real. (and good, important things!) I wouldn’t give up any of the people or things that are requiring my attention.
But I have always (and probably will always) battle the pride of I can do it all. When Jesus is whispering, you just need me.
I really truly can’t do it.
I sometimes am a lousy mom, and a lot of the time I am a lousy wife. I get crabby, and whiny, and complain a lot.
I need Jesus.
so easily ( and quickly) our focus is shifted from relying on Jesus, to relying on ourselves.
We want to do what will look best to other people. We want to do what will bring ourselves praise, the right job, more money, the perfect spouse, etc. right?
For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. -1 John 2:16
When we are doing “our own work”… it is never enough. There is no finish line. There is never enough reward. When the reward isn’t enough, we feel like we’ve failed, we need to work harder, or do more in order to obtain the prize we had hoped for. See where this is going? I can’t do it all.
and honestly, I can’t do anything without Him who died on the cross because of my ugly, pride-filled sin.
We need the gospel. We need His grace.
that which we could NEVER obtain on our own. 
This year for Lent, I am giving up MYSELF, in order to focus on what God is asking me to do.
(and I should probably have given up Cadbury Eggs and Diet Coke, but that’s another issue)
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,
that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. - Romans 12:2
