Pride

{and the photos that have nothing to do with it..}

So apparently the thing to do (according to blog world) is to pick a word of the year, instead of making a New Year’s resolution. This was a new idea to me. I read what several people wrote about, and their “word of the year”, and it felt like something I could actually get my head around.

Except I had already picked my things I was going to work on in 2013.  
{so obviously I have lots of things to work on}
because, God kept bringing a particular word to me. It would pop into my head while driving, it would come up in conversation, it would be in my devotions. hmm.

Pride.
And the abundance of it in my life.
Let me tell you, when you start to look for the pride in yourself, you feel ugly. Because it’s ev-very-where. Pride is so sneaky. It’s so easy to disguise as something that is actually good.

I say…. I’m going to volunteer for everything under the sun at church because that will look really good, and feel really good to do God’s work.
Pride says… They need ME to do it because I’m good at this stuff!
God says… I am enough. I don’t need your help.    

I say… I will teach Larkin to be a kind, respectful kid because I can not stand kids who are rude to other people.
Pride says… I am her mom! She belongs to me. I will teach her to act kindly to others, to make my life easier.  
God says… You were always mine. Follow my commands only because you love me, and teach your children to do the same.

See? My motives for helping at church, and raising Larkin were even filled with pride.

It’s a lie. When pride gets wildly out of control (and it so EASILY does) it will fill every little crack and crevice of your life with lies. It will fill you up just enough to not really need the love of Jesus. And let me tell you, we all desperately need it.

At first I had a really, really hard time seeing it in myself. I was so accustom to it, that it didn’t even seem wrong to me! When someone told me “ be careful not to let your pride get in the way”, I felt defensive. Not me! Can’t you see how BUSY I am doing all of this “good stuff”? The more I’ve become aware of what pride actually is, and what the bible says about it… the more I could see the truth.

Proverbs 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

I have been trying to learn to look at each situation, each circumstance, each relationship in my life, and asking myself “ What is my motive?” If my motive is anything but to glorify God, and not myself… It needs to change. It isn’t that I necessarily need a change of lifestyle, but a change of motive. of incentive. of heart. 

The praise of people (including self praise) is not the same thing as doing work that is pleasing to God. It might be some of the time, but be careful! When other people praise us for something we’ve done, it can give us a instant ego boost. That will lead to living your life to please others. And then your motives are all wrong… 

See how easily that happens? See how if you look at something that on the outside appears to be good, can really have pride written all over it on the inside?
 So, I guess now I have a word for 2013.
PRIDE. 

Dear Lord, I have been wrong. Please open my eyes to the pride that has crept in, and taken up residence in my heart.
I want more of You, and less of me.
Amen.

inauguration day

4 years ago I was glued to the TV at the first inauguration of Mr. Obama.

it had nothing to do with politics.

I remember seeing people lining the streets of the parade, weeping.

I was so intrigued, and couldn’t stop watching. I know some people are very passionate about politics, but I don’t think this was the reason for all of them to be there- brought to tears by the moment. I think they were really grasping what a black president means.  

I was naive, and it was the first time I really remember considering what it would be like to be a black American.  It really bothered me, and I couldn’t shake the sad feeling I had as I watched.
Where up to this point, some things in life, were just off limits if you didn’t have the right skin color.
Being president was one of them.
… until that day.

4 years later, my eyes have been opened. I see the world in a new way. I see the stereo types, I see the looks, I hear the comments.  I feel them. It kills me. I have a real fear for the day Larkin is old enough to understand. Don’t get me wrong; she is loved. By our family, our friends, our community. spoiled even! But others are naive  (just like I was!) and the things that they say and do (pertaining to her race) sting.   

Today I watched the inauguration on TV again.
and all I could think was that now I can tell my daughter ;
“You can be ANYTHING you want to be”.
and that it’s true.

this weekend…

we made smoothies.

Larkin tried her best to ride the dog… “I ride daisee, giddy up daisee!”

we practiced our itsy bitsy spider

I painted the sofa table blue.

we hung out in the kitchen (she tells good stories)

we had lunch with college friends, and met a sweet new baby

we worked on her big girl room
{it’s almost done}

and celebrated Paityn’s 2nd birthday
(and my big brother’s 30th birthday, but there are no photos from that)

it was a sweet weekend.
pun intended

checking in

whoa, where has the time gone?

blogging just has not taken priority lately. And that’s okay.

In the weeks since Christmas we have honestly just sat at home more than we ever have in our lives. There is so much flu and yuck going around, and we have decided that hibernation is our best defense.  well, that and I have about 68,356 Pinterest projects I’m working on. Today’s project is “How to organize your entire house in 40 days” in one day.
ready, go.   
   
and because it would be pretty boring to have a post with no pictures...
   
Larkin’s CONSTANT narration of everything:
“my baby on mommy’s bed. no cry baby. iss okay. night night baby”  

Sister bear is practicing her skills.

ELLEJAY

Hey guys! I have something I can’t wait to show you…

I have been working on Larkin’s big girl room, and I decide that one wall is going to be a collage of bright, fun, color prints/frames/junk… whatever I can find that look cool.

Anyway… I’m stalking Facebook one night, and come across this blog.

ah, ha… exactly the kind of thing I am looking for. 
#devineintervention

Turns out, Liza and her husband Mark have just moved back to my small town.  
She does a-maz-ing work. And my favorite part of ELLEJAY, is that everything is personalized. Every order is custom made!
… so you know I had to have this for Larkin’s big girl room wall of art - beauty – junk {This would fall under the art category}
Here are a few of the many other name print options…  

Every last one of you knows someone (big or small) that you could give this to! Or you could make a baby yourself (or adopt one?)… and then you would have someone to buy it for. problem solved, folks!
Liza already did that baby making part… and now she wants to make something beautiful for your little one!  
(and I told her I would not post this without a baby belly picture. I will stop at nothing for adorableness)
We decided to adopt again solely based on the fact that I wanted to be able to order more name prints from ELLEJAY.
okay, that’s not true. It’s because I love sleep deprivation & those soft little cheeks.

If you know someone who has been blessed by adoption, what greater gift could you give them then this personalized adoption print?
(You pick the state/country for the background… how cool is that?)
stick with me…
we’re getting to the good part

Liza is giving 25%off to any of my blog readers until the end of the month!
(on name prints & adoption prints)

Use the code EVERYSTEP25 when you check out
BLOG – FACEBOOK- ETSY
   
Happy Sunday. Happy Shopping! 

2013

Is it just me, or does saying it’s the year two thousand thirteen just sound like something from the future?… and here we are. yikes!

It seems like just yesterday I was wearing a shirt that said “Y2K ready” in glow in the dark paint… that some friends and I hand crafted ourselves in junior high. So that when the lights all went out at midnight, our shirts would glow in the dark. get it? Yea we were awesome. Rock on 1999… (Why doesn’t that sound that long ago?) 

moving on.

I told you all how we were doing Christmas differently this year.

There were a few presents, but not so many. (She did get “circus movie” ) We celebrated advent, and came up with a way to give each Sunday of the month. I loved that part. It was mostly a change of heart for myself this year because I am the planner, and the buyer of gifts. I literally had to train myself to walk away when I would see something in a store that I wanted so badly to buy for Larkin. or Wade. or myself. and what do you know, eventually I found myself thinking of creative ways to spend money on others rather than planning gifts for ourselves. That new tradition is a keeper.
Now here we are, the new year.
Last year Wade and I both made the resolution to not pay for drinks at restaurants (water only) and I made the resolution to not drink any calories. yea, I kept that one. right…

I’m not making a whole year long goal this year. I came up with a few simple things I want to accomplish for today, tomorrow, this week… and hopefully from there, they will transform into a pattern that will carry on much longer.

1. Wait with joy for “ a call” for this new baby. Some days that is easy. Some days it kills me. I find myself full of excitement, & anticipation one minute, and I feel so disheartened, hopeless the next. I am fearful. I am afraid it will be hard, and we will go through the wringer before our baby is home with us. Adoption is messy, and I am afraid of what is to come. God’s word reminds us over and over to combat worry with thankfulness, and that is what I hope to accomplish.

2. Memorize Scripture
(This I have a feeling will go hand in hand with fighting away worry about this adoption.) I have the worlds worst memorizing ability, but I need to try harder. The only area I scored high on on my ACTs was reading comprehension. I can read something and easily understand what it's saying, but memorizing it... not so good. I can tell you what things mean (in my own words) but never word for word what is written. I need to work on memorizing, not summarizing. (bedhead watching daddy shovel the snow)

3. Move Larkin to her big girl room.  Right now she is about 10 steps from our bed. I have grown so fond of hearing every little sound and noise she makes. I know the minute she wakes up, and when she is sleeping soundly.  I am quite enjoying decorating/preparing her new room, but not so excited about the idea of her sleeping in it.
      Well, that's it.

Live with Joy.
You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
–Isaiah 5:12

Memorize his teachings.
I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. 
–Psalm 119:11

Learn to let go. and trust 
Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
-Matthew 6:26