2 1/2

Larkin, you are 30 months old today.
And that is probably the point where you are a crazy person if you are still counting months.
yep. probably.

Babe, you finally made it to 25 pounds. Every time you stand on our scale at home, you proudly announce you are “21”.
You fit in most 2T tops, and 18 month bottoms. (some 12 month leggings/skirts) You wear size 5/6 shoes.
You would wear your pink cowgirl (and I don’t call them cowBOY or I get scolded) boots everyday if I would let you. those, or your slippers.
I lie your clothes out for your in the morning, and if I put out a pair of jeans you will always say, “ Mom, these are jeans? I want to wear sweatpants, okay?” smart girl.

You are getting particular about your hair, and ask to have it done. (You ask for pigtails, “twisties”, or an afro)
You have many “friends”, and you talk with them all day long.  A few months ago it was always Goofy, and more recently it has become Dora & Diego. Your imagination blows me away.

You love this strange looking stuffed animal, you named Tigie.
You are completely potty trained, except for the occasional accident during the night.
You are most loving, sweetest big sister I could imagine. Lola giggles at almost anything you do. (I have a feeling that will change when she starts to get into your stuff)
You will sit as long as anyone will read to you. You love books, and memorize the words to them very quickly.   

I have been collecting a few “Larkinisms” to record for you to enjoy when you older. There is not a day (or an hour sometimes) that goes by that you doesn’t say something that either shocks me, or has me laughing.

-I took you into the bathroom to go potty after you woke up this morning. While you were sitting there, we were having a conversation about breakfast. Mid sentence you stop talking, and a huge grin comes on your face.... "mommy, mommy! this is (on) Elf! It’s when he goes round and round and round those doors!". Sure enough... the song on the radio is on the  movie Elf. Which you’ve seen 2, maybe 3 times. You’ve done the same thing in the grocery store, a mall, anywhere that music is playing. If you recognizes a song, you instantly knows where you’ve heard it before.

-“Daddy! Diego is up on the curtains. You have to help him down. It’s okay Diego, I will catch you. We need a mouskatool!  Oh no, the mouskatool is stuck in the Christmas tree.”

-as I’m holding your head still to brush your teeth, you say, “I better do it because I might be choking.”

-you see a huge Christmas tree on TV, and say, “ they will use a big big ladder to put the lights on that tree.”

“Mom my nose has snot in it. I wiped it on tigie. You might have to clean him, but you can just put him in the dryer.”

Sisters.

Thank you, God, for making them sisters.
From the beginning of time You knew they would be sisters.
The giggles between the two of them constantly fill our home… and I can’t imagine anything better.

Design Challenge.

So, a few months ago I got asked to do this room design challenge for a local furniture store.

I went to the furniture store and picked out my “room” (furniture, rugs, wall hanging, accessories, etc), and then headed over to the mall to set up our little fake room display.

How awesome is that hutch?

My room went “up” for voting last week, and will be online for another month.

Wanna help me out? Head over HERE, and place your vote!

You will have to “like” the page first (upper right hand corner), and then you can check the vote box below my name + picture.

The online facebook votes + the designers votes from the furniture store will determine the winner… and the winner gets a $1000 shopping spree to spend in the store! uh, yes please!

Happy Birthday.

Can’t believe he would have been 3 years old today.
Happy Birthday Jude.

thanksgiving lights for the haters.

{a good dose of sarcasm for your tuesday}

I love October. I really could just skip summer all together, so by the time it’s finally October I am all for throwing out the shorts, tank tops, lemonade, grilling, blah blah blah.
Bring on a good sweater, and boot and I am a happy girl.
So, it should not really be a surprise that I also love November.
My favorite part about November is that people can no longer complain, “Did you see Walmart? They have Christmas stuff out BEFORE Halloween”.
I usually just smile, and say “oh yea, they always do that.”
but really I’m thinking… “I did see the Christmas stuff being put on the shelves Mid-october, and I took a picture on my phone and sent it to my family & friends. Because I love them. Don’t be hatin’ because some of us have eternal Christmas Spirit.  It can be called a thanksgiving tree, and thanksgiving lights if that makes you feel better about yourself. I am fully capable of celebrating the Christmas season (because it is more than a day) and being thankful at the very same time. I promise.”  (Did I make myself clear? hahaha)

So.. before I start posting things about my thanksgiving tree, and thanksgiving lights, I have a few things I am enjoying about this thanksgiving season.
Which I really feel like I am celebrating whole heartedly for the first time in my life.  Here are a few of the “fall photos” I took yesterday.

and then today it snowed. and it’s still snowing.
Which I’m pretty sure validates my point that it’s never too soon for Christmas Light,festive music, Elf, Apple Cider, & red fuzzy socks. (insert evil laugh)

High five God, High five.

for thanksgiving.

a week or so ago the devotional by Ann Voskamp, one thousand gifts, Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces came in the mail.
(a very thoughtful birthday present to myself, don’t you think?)
Ann wrote her book, one thousand gifts, after being dared by a friend to physically write down 1000 things she was thankful for.
She writes, “I took the dare, accepted the challenge, kept track of one thousand things, one thousand gifts- a thousand graces- on a quiet, unassuming blog. Before I knew it, thankfulness to God began to fully change me. What I actually found was more daily wonder and surprising beauty than I ever expected. And in a few short years, this daily hunt for God’s grace, His glory, had ushered me into a fuller life. A life of joy!”

I will admit, finding thankfulness in the whining,  up all night, “mommy, mom, mommmmy, I need to talk to you, don’t talk to daddy, mommy, MOM!”, peeing in her pants. in the chair, newborn spiting up constantly= piles of laundry, sink full of dishes,  2 girls with nasty colds, demands of work, volunteer meetings, is hard.
…I mean,  you get it! and you have 28 more things you could add to that list. We all do. 

Life has been busy, and hectic, and finding a minute to myself to even think…. let alone be thankful, hasn’t come easy.
And it is my own fault.
I haven’t been intentional about stopping to “smell the roses“ of God’s goodness (his grace!) , and the days are passing me by. 
precious precious days are passing me by.

sweet moments between a daddy & his girls.
trees who’s leaves are colors there are not words for.
kind words in unexpected places.
candycorn.
sunshine glaring in the bedroom window.

chubby baby fingers… starting to learn to reach, and grasp.
a picky eater discovers she loves Chinese food.
the fact that I was chosen to be their Mother. Me. so undeserving.
the crisp fall breeze blowing through cracked open windows.
laughter, where lately there had been none.

Stopping to intentionally notice (and write down) every day blessings tunes your perspective.
There is a reason to give thanks. always.

After they told us that our days with baby Jude were coming to an end, we had 2 choices; bitterness. Or thankfulness.
We chose to be thankful for each day. each hour.
When we tuned our perspective to thanks, we found the unexplainable peace.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace.
In the world you will have tribulation.
But take heart; I have overcome the world.  -John 16:33

The days were sweet. We laughed, and smiled. We cried too, but we had thankful hearts, and God was glorified in our home when we could have become angry with Him.
Thankfulness truly did rival bitterness.

Jude passed away a week before Thanksgiving of 2010. That year, I wrote this on my blog…
“As much as I want to feel sorry for myself like something was taken from me, I know in my heart that is totally not true.
What we have been given in the last months, has been so much greater than what we lost. And we will be THANKFUL for that.”

I learned first hand the importance of living a life of gratitude to the Lord for who He is. (instead of being thankful for “what we have”) 
And yet, lately, in the midst of very abundant blessing I had been failing at that very thing.

”Isn’t it here? The wonder? Why do I spend so much of my living hours struggling to see it? Do we truly stumble so blind that we must be affronted with blinding magnificence for our blurry soul-sight to recognize grandeur?”  -One Thousand Gifts

If I am blind to the blessings that are right in front of my eyes, what else am I missing out on? How many small giggles, encouraging words, sweet fragrances, beautiful sites, loving moments, have I already missed? Imagine how full your heart would feel at the end of the day if you really considered (and savored) each blessing that Lord himself gave to YOU. Each of those moments is a gift of His love for you.

My sister in law and I had a conversation the other night (about how crazy our schedules are with 2 little people running our lives), and she told me that she had read something that had stuck with her… and it is sticking with me too.
“The days are long, but the years are short.” 
I want to see life for what it truly is.
A gift.
thousand and thousands of little gifts, that add up too be some very short, wonderful years. snotty noses and all.

pumpkinland.

Oh how she has changed in the last year…. PUMPKINLAND 2012
And yes… we did have Lola with us. Poor girl gets left out of blog photos, for now.

batman.

 

My niece brought batman to Jude’s grave earlier this summer.
“because he can fly to heaven”, of course.
Larkin thought she had found a treasure…
way better than any silk flowers, or overpriced metal cross, or giant bow.
just a tiny superhero.  

just a tiny superhero.

octobers.

Today.

ugh. I hate September 29.
I hate the way I replay the day they told us our baby’s brain was “not compatible with life”.
I think how I felt the morning of September 29, 2010 and how by the end of that day… my life had fallen apart. at least that’s what I thought then.
I hate how hopeless of a day it was.
I hate how quickly our reality was shifted, and the thing that had brought me the most happiness I had ever known, would bring me the greatest sorrow.

This afternoon I sat down on the couch, and grabbed my Jesus Calling devotional. I opened it to September 29. I could feel a lump in my throat as I turned for the page. 

“ I created your brain with capacity to know Me as Friend and Lord simultaneously. The human mind is the pinnacle of My creation, but so few use it for its primary purpose- knowing Me. I communicate continually through My Spirit, My Word, and My creation. Only humans are capable of receiving Me and responding to My Presence. You are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made!”  

even 3 years later, God sends me subtle (or not so subtle, in this case) reminders that He does not make mistakes.
“I created your brain with capacity to know Me- the pinnacle of My creation, but so few use it for it’s primary purpose- knowing Me.”
Jude’s brain was “not compatible with life”…. but I bet it was compatible to commune with God. And that was its primary purpose, after all. 

He was fearfully and wonderfully made. indeed.



I love how thankful I feel to be 3 years past it.
I love that I had 2 girls to snuggle today who call me mommy.
I love what God allowed us to learn in the most unlikely circumstance.

2 months.

You weigh 9lbs. 15oz.  (27th %)
You are 21 1/2 inches long (17th%)

Your face is as wide as it is tall at this point.. those cheeks continue to grow.
You have more rolls than I can count, and keeping them clean is a chore. (This is all new to mommy!)

You are starting to smile all the time, and even giggle every now and then.
You are a cuddler, and are rocked to sleep at night.
You have found your hands, and love to suck on them.
Tummy time is not your favorite thing, and you almost always spit up (and then put you face in it –gross!) if we put you on your tummy.
You have found your voice. We wonder a lot if you are “cooing” or yelling at us.

  

You still like your pacifier, and love your bottle.
You eat 4 ounces every 3 hours during the day.
You spit up after every feeding, but besides the amount of laundry it creates for mommy, it doesn’t seem to be a problem for you.
You fight going to sleep sometimes (10-11pm), but once you are out… you sleep. Until morning!! (6 or 7am)
Last night was your best night yet… you slept from 11:15 to 8:30. coincidentally, it was also my first day back at work. 

You are my little side kick, and I have learned to do almost anything with you in my arms. (including make scrambled eggs, wipe your sister’s butt, and type on the computer)
You love the TV, and will strain to see it.
Everyday you get a little more content to lie on the floor.
Your hair is the most beautiful thing I’ve eve seen. It’s so thick & full, and growing already. It also gets frizzy when it’s humid.
You hate to be cold, and love to be bundled up with a thick blanket.

Baptism

from her mouth.

Larkin’s latest obsession is with pregnant women. She has been asking random women, “you have a baby in your tummy?”. most of whom are not pregnant.
Yep, it’s wonderful. and humbling. and humiliating.

our conversation in the car this morning:

L- Mommy, is there is a baby in your tummy?
Me- No Larkin, and remember, we aren't going to ask people that anymore.
L- Is there a baby in Tina’s tummy? (sorry aunt Tina)
Me- No Larkin, Spencer was in Tina's tummy, but he came out now. And we aren't going to ask people that anymore.
L- It's bad manners?
Me- Yes.
L- It's makes people sad?
me- yes.
L- Mom, Mommy, you have a baby in your tummy?

Well, at least she KNOWS it's rude.
Too bad she doesn't seem to care. {grin}

growing season. for all of us

Well, I officially did not post on this blog (I have a private adoption blog, that someday I can repost on this blog) for over a month. I don’t know how that happened.
oh wait, yes I do.

I finally got caught up from Larkin’s Birthday. (only 3 months late)
The circus themed birthday party
Larkin’s 2 year pictures

moving on.
one afternoon this week they slept. for the same 2 hours.
my house has never felt so clean. (because all of the clothes and toys were off the floor)

That hasn’t happened again.

Lola pretty much wants to be held, all. the. time.
which is good, unless her big sister decides she too wants to be held.
which she actually has never liked, but hey… everybody’s doing it.

This new season of life is crazy busy. I have had to tell myself “they grow up so fast, it won’t be like this forever”… many times  in the last month.  Some days it’s easy, and some days it’s hard. but I know being these girls’ mama is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Okoboji :labor day 2013