celebrate

finishing up this photo challenge…
{Yes I missed the whole last week, but today’s was too fitting to skip}

The ultimate celebration. Happy Easter.

Earl & Edna

I have absolutely no idea if these creatures are boy chicks or girl chicks. That is probably some kind of common knowledge, but I’m clueless. So, we went with the obvious choice in newborn foul namage.

Edna & Earl

I have been obsessed with the baby chicks at the local farm supply store a few blocks from or house every spring for many years. I would make random trips to buy things like bird seed so I could stop in and look at all the tiny birds.  For 5 years now, I have been asking Wade if we could raise a couple feathered friends. For 5 years he said no. So this year, I just didn’t ask. {he wasn’t too mad}

I found all of the supplies I needed from friends & relatives, and so the only thing I had to buy was the birds.

Best $5 I’ve ever spent.

Larkin calls them her baby chickies.

{Don’t worry. We have an exit strategy in plan when the chicks are too big to live in our laundry room. They will join their foul friends on a farm some day… hopefully in a couple weeks }

Easter surprise

Can't wait for daddy to get home from work today... so we can show him the surprise(s) we got him for Easter!
He is going to be blown away at our thoughtfulness.
Or he is not going to talk to me for the next week...
one of those.
Either way, Larkin is a happy girl! (and so am I)

shine

#sisterphotochallenge

a dream

that one day, spring will come.

a pair

sometimes I…

am impatient.
to see her become a big sister.

Larkin and her baby “pete”.
#sisterphotochallenge

Today is the 2 year anniversary of “the referral call”. The one that changed almost every single aspect of our lives.

We had only waited 6 days. that’s 144 hours.
(in adoption world, that’s practically the speed of light)

As you can imagine, getting that call was no where on my radar, not yet. I had only known people who had waited months and years, and so “days” was not something I had even considered.

***

We’ve been waiting 4 months for our next baby...
There have been birthmom situations, and we’ve heard “We need your profile right away” more than once. We’ve gotten our hopes up, and been let down. We’ve felt confused, and misdirected, and worn. It is exhausting.

I’m the equivalent of a 1 year old throwing a tantrum these days.
{And trust me, I know what that looks like}

I want my way, and I want it now… and God continues to whisper… not yet.

I KNOW that there is an end to this.
And that end to this waiting will mean our child is in my arms.
But today, I feel like the ride to get there is so hard. It’s too unpredictable, too consuming, too slow, too painful, too refining, too expensive, too unpredictable.
oh yea, and too unpredictable.

My I’m-gonna-plan-everything-so-it-turns-out-just-right self is a mess. At the beginning of this adoption process I was calm, cool, and collected. I said things like “I can’t imagine life without Larkin, and I know God will bring us the right baby at the right time again.” now… I say, “I wanna quit. This is killing me. I just want my baby home today.” … See? Tantrum.

I am putting myself in time out now.

"When I am consumed by my problems – stressed out by MY life, MY family, MY job – I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice... Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what is happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s ok to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we’ve been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won’t be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God’s strength, our problems are small, indeed. Why are we so quick to forget God? Who do we think we are?" [francis chan]

above

#sisterphotochallenge

the artist.

considering this was our maiden voyage with the water paints, I would say it was a success. plus it entertained her long enough for me to do the dishes.  

“Mommy watch dis!”

on the floor

@kelsiebel #sisterphotochallenge

where I went

I went nowhere. It’s windy and cooold out there.

So instead… it’s where we’re going

green

“I wear mommy’s neck”

sunray

afternoon sunshine + post nap cuddles

tiny

a newborn diaper. waiting for a tiny bum
#sisterphotochallenge

share

Daddy was sharing his phone with Larkin.
he just didn’t know it.

wonder why she’s hiding in her tent….

a treat.

this is all of our favorite treat around here.
We bribed Larkin to eat her dinner by promising her bread for dessert.

Lemon Blueberry Yogurt Bread. 
It’s healthy because there is plain greek yogurt in it.
that is all you need to know.
The more you eat (means more greek yogurt!), the healthier you are.
{you’re welcome}
Let’s just say… that by tomorrow, I will be pretty darn healthy.

in my fridge

#sisterphotochallenge

texture

Follow my sister on instagram… @kelsiebel #sisterphotochallenge

favorite drink

favorite mug. favorite coffee.

homemade

a wedding book, 2 adoption profile books, vacation books, Jude’s life book, Larkin’s first year book…

I love this basket of the pictures of our life… bound together in homemade (online) books.

a mess

hair

#sisterphotochallenge

what I wore

you better check out @kelsiebel #sisterphotochallenge
because she has way too much time on her hands, and really cool clothes.

Nevaeh

about a month ago we went to visit my sister. While we were there we got to spend a morning with Nevaeh.

Nevaeh was one of the first people in my family who got to meet Larkin because they lived near the hospital where she was born. I don’t think anyone was as excited to meet Larkin as she was…

Nevaeh is my cousin’s little girl, and for the last year and a half she has been battling cancer. She had a brain tumor removed in the fall of 2011, and since then has endured hell. Chemo, twice. Radiation, twice. Lots of tummy problems, unfathomable fatigue, hospital stays, needles, pain.  
She wanted to take a bath with Larkin so she could help me wash her hair… sweet, sweet girl. That smile melts my heart.
The few hours I spent with her that Saturday morning touched my heart, in a deep way. I listened to her and my girl giggle as they splashed in the bathtub. 
I held back tears as I thought over and over, It’s just not fair.
In her 5 years, she has endured more than most people will ever know. 

In spite of all hardships in her life, Nevaeh radiates joy.

She is funny. She is witty. She is smart. She is compassionate. She is sweet. She is brave.

She is so full of life.

Nevaeh,
I want to be like you. You are one of the most beautiful little girls I have ever met… truly a princess! Your joy in life is contagious, and I pray you never lose that. God had a huge plan for your life on the day you were born, and this is one season of that story. I think about you and your sweet little spirit everyday, and I can’t wait to see the woman you grow up to be. You love other people with your whole heart, and are so selfless. Most adults strive their whole life to become the kind of caring person you already are. at 5 years old.
I want to share you with the world because everyone needs someone like you in their life… a true inspiration to live every day with joy.

Today was a day of great anxiety for her entire family.
Today Nevaeh had scans of her brain and spine to check for tumors.
Today they waited for news… What was their future?

A few hours ago this was posted on facebook:

Take that cancer!
“scans look great” …let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

We love you Nevaeh Marie!

sharp

Wanna follow my sister? @kelsiebel #sisterphotochallenge

where I sat

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kitchen

did you know I LOVE Sunday mornings?
he always makes us whatever we want for breakfast.
we are lucky girls…
#sisterphotochallenge

morning

play along on instagram! #sisterphotochallenge

….I found one on my camera, and I would like to update my “morning” picture. Is that against the rules? too bad. 

oh wait, there are more.