Celebrate

Saturday was her big day. 1st birthday.
The day we celebrated a year ago when her Daddy called in the middle of the night, and said she was here, and we could come to the hospital right now if we wanted... and I wanted. Wade said I could wait til morning, but I didn’t sleep much more that night. She was finally here… 
That was the day we realized she had her mommy’s pretty blue eyes… and her daddy’s crazy hairline.
She got a little of her attitude from her aunt Kelsi. And her “ADD”…that’s from her mom and  her dad.  There is no sit in that little tush… she hates to be held, and is on the move constantly. She wants to be down, and on her own moving as she pleases.
And speaking of moving… her walks now. A little like a drunk baby, and it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen. Specially a little birthday baby in a tutu and a party hat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And she has the coolest mom…
We ate dinner before the cake of course, and Jenny said to my brother “ don’t let her eat too much, she has to eat cake yet”. Only on her first birthday… :)
Other party goers…Grandparents, and great-grandparents, and 3 foster girls who were so good. They watched as Pae-in got to stick her hands in cake, and open 20 presents, and were told 10 times, “that’s Paelyn’s”.
And none of them cried, or complained. This little princess (who was battling yet another ear infection) will be 1 in just a few weeks. We can’t wait to throw her a party too! 
July 31st- so much has changed in a year…
We love being your uncle and aunt Paelyn Grace. You are the most energetic little girl I’ve ever known, and it is so fun to watch you play. We can’t wait to see what naughty things you teach your new little cousin. :)

A few weeks ago, ah, I mean months (opps), my cousins who live out of town met me to take a few pictures of their kids.  Here is my cousin Tessa with her two cuties, Nevaeh & Kaid And  their twin cousins, Emory & Alexis 

I didn’t get any photos of my cousin Jennifer’s 3 kids together, but some good ones of the twins laughing at my sister!
Here is the girls’ big brother Tanner.

off the top of my head

Our vacation started off with a bang. Or should I say, a siren. A tornado siren that is. Yep… we were in a cracker jack box as far as I was concerned when the storm hit. No basement, thin walls, lots of windows… not ideal for a storm. So we took off in our car. Not genius, but it was a dire situation and we had no time to consider our choices. Luckily we were safe… and when we returned, we parked a block away(because a tree was on the road) from the house and walked back to find this in the morning. We were with out electricity, not just once… but twice on this vacation:)  
(none of these pictures are the house we stayed in)  

But here are the highlights from the week away.
If a picture is worth a thousand words…
I’ll save my words (because I could use well over a thousand) and let you see for yourself.
my hunky lifeguardish looking husband. i love this one. especially because this little princess, his niece, has the exact same look on her face in this picture.
This little fish will be 1 in only a few short days.
Here is Miss Paelyn with my sister.
My sister who ended her vacation with a car that looked like this…
Besides some bumps and bruises, and whiplash… she is okay. But it was a long ride to the hospital for this over emotional big sister. After going to get her stuff out of her totaled car I was even more aware of just how bad it really could have been. Definitely a wake up call that you never know what can happen in the blink of an eye… We are all thanking God that Kelsi and her boyfriend Drew walked away from this accident.   

But on a much more exciting note… the new camera is on its way!! I scored an amazing deal buying a professional camera (with all it’s fun accessories) from a photographer who was getting a new camera.  I told Wade it is a present for the baby for getting through the first trimester. :) Okay so, it’s a present for the baby’s mom… but it will get plenty of use taking pictures of our sweet thang.
Happy 12 weeks baby K.
Your mama is very very excited that you are 2 1/2 inches long. And you grew arms and legs in the last couple weeks(and even fingernails); arms and legs that you’ll be using very soon to punch and kick me I’m sure. 

Thursday I don’t care about you

Friday I’m in love. 

Vacation. 8 days away from work.
Wade’s been telling me all week when he wakes me up to tell me he’s leaving for work .. “we’re one day closer to vacation”. I love my 10 year old in dress clothes going off to work with his briefcase under his arm. Vacation feeds my soul in the same way a new kitchen spice candle does. And the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. (Apparently when you’re pregnant, and sick to the point that there is not one food in the world that doesn’t make you gag, including water… your hormones increase your cravings for something else. You crave holidays. :)  Yep, I spend most of my alone time these days dreaming of Thanksgiving)

We’re off to enjoy a few glorious days at the busy lake Okoboji with my family, and a few days at the desolate lake Osakis with Wade’s family.
The best of both worlds.
We get the busy hustle and bustle of a total hot spot with restaurants, shopping, amusement parks, and thousands of other vacationers… and we drive 4 hours north to a lake where you feel like you (and the family with you) are nearly alone in the state of Minnesota. As far as you can see on the lake there is not another boat… and from that comes true peace and quiet. And relaxing like you can’t find anywhere else. And reading… like chapters and chapters at the time, and you might not be interrupted once. Oh yea, and I’m getting a fishing license this year for the first time. Although I’m totally paranoid about hooks in people’s eyes, and grossed out by the worms, or lures..or whatever those are. I’m hoping to at least reel in something big. And then let it go… 

And I feel since I’ve told you she’s come into our lives I must tell you she’ll be leaving. Grandma dog is sick. And even though I refuse to be the one to say “it’s okay, bring her to the vet”… it’s time she be put to sleep. I am finally convinced she’s in too much pain, and she’s not getting better. She is almost 14 years old. I told my mom I just want to make her better, and she reminded me they can’t make her any younger. The truth is… if I’m almost 100, my kidney’s are failing, and in pain… please don’t prolong my life anymore. And so… We won’t prolong her life either. I’m so not okay with it, and will be in tears several times in the coming week knowing she won’t be there when we get home.
Kobee, you’ve been my girl for a long time… and we will miss you.

Well since I have an empty suitcase, and 2 baskets of laundry on my bed needing folding, I should be packing… my 10 year old will not be happy if I’m not ready in the morning! :) 

peace out.

Sunday Afternoon, the musical

Some moments in life feel like they’re straight from Broadway. Or a movie at least… Thank you Mr. Sinatra

sometimes you gotta…sing in the rain

It started to sprinkle,or a…downpour, while we were playing outside…

when the drops got bigger the girls started to run for the house…
But we turned them around, and said Mom won’t care (she’ll take pictures actually), let’s stay out!
…which turned into spinning, and dancing, and running through puddles of course.
As the street flooded, and the drops got bigger it was even more fun.

The looks on their faces was worth it all. :)

“Kroeze, party of 3”

baby’s first picture... :)

the p.s. (first) When I started preparing to write this post, the first thing I wanted to do was find the perfect song to add to the top of my playlist to go with this long time awaited baby post. Something with the word baby in it? something slow and sappy? something upbeat & exciting?…and now as I’m about to hit the “publish” button for the world to read…. I’m looking for a “out of my mind, totally freaking out, it’s too soon, something could go wrong, do I feel as sick as yesterday? I think I want to cry(for the 2nd time today)..or maybe I just need to pee again” song.
In the end,  Needtobreathe comes through once again. (best group of all time)
Holy moly. bear with me… here it goes.

A year ago I would not have appreciated heart burn that actually makes acidy gurgling noises when I lay in bed, and getting up to go to the bathroom (how many times) at night. I would not have smiled while tears ran down my cheeks from gagging in just attempting to brush my teeth.

But today, oh how I love thee.
Sweet pregnancy symptoms.
Sweet pregnancy.
Our sweet love bug.

The past 2 months have been a scary case of déjà vu. We’ve been here, done this before… more than once. I’ve seen that “pregnant” word on a test before, and it was not so happily ever after.   Oh but this time, we’re so hopeful. And my heart is bursting with joy, and hope, and gladness, and thankfulness. And we are that.. just so so very thankful. Thankful that God decided we should love this baby, and call him or her, ours. And while this baby will be ours, we know that above all this baby is the loved child of God who is entrusting us to care for him or her however many days that may be. 

Today I get it. It’s starting to sink in. And what I truly do get is this: All my fears and anxiety are because I want my way. Because I’m selfish. God so has us right where he wants us. Vulnerable, clinging to Him for dear life. for this dear baby’s life. We have absolutely no choice but to give up our hopes and dreams and place them in God’s hands. That’s why we call this faith I guess. 

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe.."
Hebrews 12:28

We’ve seen our baby (and it’s quickly beating heart) at the doctor’s office more than once; and to date, we have no reason to think anything will go other than perfect this time. Of course we never know with certainty what any day will hold, but we accept that. Today Baby K is growing strong, and when tomorrow comes, we’ll rejoice all over again for one more day. 

The view from here is about to change…
9 weeks and counting…

…and I’ve been feeling great good(I’m using the word good loosely as trying to be thankful for feeling awful means our valentine is growing). Can hardly peel myself out of bed in the morning, but I try not to complain. And while the symptoms do keep me constantly remembering there is something good going on…this is all terrifying. To come out and say, "I’m pregnant, we’re gonna have a baby in February” just to find out something is wrong, and feel like I lied to everyone. We changed our mind 10 times when we should tell the big news…and it comes down to this.

This is our life, and it’s in God’s hands.

Yes some people in our situation would wait til 12 or 14 weeks to tell everyone, but that’s not me.  Obviously, I’m a “sharer” or “over-sharer”? :)  I don’t keep anything to myself, and this was something I couldn’t keep to myself ANY longer! We want our family and friends to praise God for this baby the way we are, and also to be praying for its health.

I couldn’t think of a better way for God to show us that He loves us then to send us our little babe just in time for a day fully devoted to LOVE. We can not wait to meet our sweet valentine…

My fortune cookie message from a few days after we found out I was pregnant…
you know that makes you laugh. we did. sick humor…. :)

notes from the dog house

Note 1: It is nearly impossible to get a good picture of a dog. It IS impossible to get a good picture of 2 dogs.

Note 2: I love my dogs because they are always aware of what I'm doing. They are lazy, and lay around almost the entire day. But when I walk past, never once do they just lay there unaware that I’m walking by. They jump up, ready to follow me wherever I’m going next. Several times a day I walk from my bedroom to the kitchen, or to the office from the living room, and the whole time I have a little white dog on each side of me.

Note 3: When you have sticky traps set around the entry to catch nasty gross ear wigs… move them before the dogs go outside. Poor Daisee squealed like crazy when I had to pull that off her foot.  

Note 4: Wade took a nap on the couch yesterday, and when he woke up he realized he was lying in dried dog barf. Needless to say, his patience with our grandma dog are wearing thin… and we once again had the, “how much longer” talk. A talk that about puts me in tears. She’s old… but she’s still good. I’m not ready to let her go yet.

Note 5: A dog will not eat its own food if another dog’s food is available. They will finish each other's bowl clean… with out even sniffing at their own. Maybe I need to invest in 1 good food for both of them, and call it a day.

Note 6: Oh yea, and one more important note from Daisee herself…

Yes it’s true. If all goes well, Daisee will be a big sister, and we will have a little love bug at our house by Valentine’s Day!!!!

More to come…stay tuned. 
 
"He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.” -Job 5:9