{halloween}

BFF

I love watching these two grow up together, so much it makes my heart hurt. 
and boy have they grown…. 

Larkin 5 weeks old, Amayah 3 weeks old

bath photos

in case you didn’t already know, one my favorite places to take pictures is while she’s in the bathtub. (Not like that… come on) 
beads of water on her eyelashes, bubbles, drips of water hanging off her curls…
plus, baff is her favorite thing to do, so she gives me all the material I need
#funnyfaces
and that brown skin against a white tub…. delish.
the patented “pretty smile” 

4 years too late

I woke up to this today.

which is actually what I was hoping for four years ago…
But instead I got stuck with 75 degrees, and complete sunshine on my wedding day. ugh. dang Iowa weather.

{these are unedited photos. the sky was actually THAT blue} 

Thank you for sharing this completely weird, unusual, happy, crazy life with me babe.

big girl hair

{cornrows in the front, 2 strand box twists in the back}

We did half before nap time

and finished it after.

Because her hair is still growing in in the front, it is nearly impossible to get neat, tight little braids. I feel like her hair is thicker every time I wash it!  I was so amazed at how well she would sit, and let me part, spray, comb, and section her hair.   I am hoping to leave this in for a couple of days, but we will see if that happens or not. I never thought I would let her sit with my kindle on her lap playing games while watching cartoons for half of an afternoon, but when it’s hair time almost anything goes.

I even text a picture of the finished product to her birth mom. She gave me a few pointers, and told me I did a good job!  Success!

uncle Marcus

Every basketball, baseball, or football game on TV triggers her favorite phrase “go go Mar-tus!”.
He was over after school one day when she woke up from her nap…
it wasn’t mommy she wanted to cuddle with.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

Today my heart is heavy for my friends. For the dozen or so friends I have made because we have something in common. We share this loss of not only a pregnancy, but the baby in our arms. If you have a reason to “celebrate” this day at all, you don’t need a day set aside to remember. You remember. always.  Some of these people walked beside me in the hardest days of my life, and for some of you this is a brand new loss. Some of you hardly knew you were pregnant before it ended. I understand that loss too.  I’m sorry.

This is the day I want to remember… the day before Jude died.

We celebrate his tiny little life, and the great big way it changed our lives.
For my 3 sweet babes…
oh, if you could understand how we loved you, and constantly long for the day we will meet you, and hold you again.

What a day that will be.

We don’t have this day to remember the loss.
We have this day to celebrate that you LIVED.