I honestly can’t tell you how excited I am to be starting this new series. This is some GOOD stuff people… brace yourselves.
Today’s Guest Blogger is Colleen Tronson.
Colleen is the wife of Steve, mother of 3 grown sons.
She has been the director of the Metro Women's Center in Minneapolis, MN for 23 years, where Colleen actively works to educate the community about alternatives to abortion.
Colleen is the hands and feet of Jesus; mentoring women, and devoting her life to helping women who find themselves with an unplanned pregnancy.
this is her story….
“Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost but now I’m found was blind but now I see.” When John Newton put the internal rhyme "amazing grace" together, it wasn't purely for poetic reasons. He understood grace to mean God's unmerited favor to lost souls. On May 10, 1748, when Newton was the captain of a ship that was caught in a violent storm, he experienced what he would later refer to as his "great deliverance." When all seemed lost and the ship would surely sink, he recorded this prayer in his journal, "Lord, have mercy upon us." At that point in his life God became everything to him. He had placed his physical and spiritual future in the Lord’s hands. Later, in his cabin, he reflected on what he had said and began to believe that God had addressed him through that turbulent storm and that grace had begun to work for him.
My own “turbulent journey” through life, unplanned pregnancy and subsequent spiritual renewal began when I was 18 and pregnant. I was terrified. I had been raised in a strong Catholic family so I knew that THIS could not be happening to ME! I had been taught the truth about life being sacred. I was part of a national right to life group. I had even sent in $5 to get a special bracelet, which proclaimed just how PROLIFE I was. But, like many women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, I panicked! Many of you may remember those feelings: nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to turn? I wonder if in our unplanned pregnancy situations, we weren’t similar to Newton on that ship being tossed to and fro? Like him, we were searching for some sort of deliverance, some sort of rescue.
Unfortunately, in my case, I sought the wrong kind of deliverance from my pregnancy crisis. I allowed fear to drive my choices and I had the first of what would eventually be three abortions. I assumed, incorrectly, that each time I chose the deliverance of abortion, my life would be better. That, my friends, was a lie. Three years later I was involved with o drugs and alcohol, broke, homeless and pregnant for the fourth time – an emotional disaster! Again I started searching for “deliverance” via abortion. Thankfully, I “accidentally” called an adoption agency in my search for an abortion clinic. The woman on the phone had a sweet voice and offered me an option I had never considered before: adoption! I am saddened today to think that at the time of my other pregnancies, selfishness and fear blinded me to the adoption option.
As I learned about the option of adoption I began to feel hopeful instead of afraid. For the first time I started to consider the “other” person in my crisis: my unborn child. The more I learned, the more I became filled with a sense of drive and purpose: I was on a mission to find a family for my son. God allowed me to find that family and I chose to include them in my birth plan. In March of 1982, with his adoptive mother as my labor companion, my son was born! His adoptive mom cut the umbilical cord and together we cried and rejoiced that he was finally here. We named our son Nicholas William, after my father and his adoptive father. During my hospital stay, I spent time with Nick, saying hello to him in the special ways a mother does, letting him know I loved him, checking out his fingers and toes. As I spent time with him, I pondered the fact that God had allowed life to emerge from a place where death had previously reigned.
I knew I was choosing what was right for him, but leaving the hospital without him was the most difficult day of my life. There is a saying that reads: “Choosing to be a mother is like choosing to have your heart go walking around outside of your body.” Leaving the hospital that day felt like my heart would stop beating entirely. Over time, that deep grief has subsided. One day I even remember thinking; “Wow, I have gone for a long time without thinking about Nick.” It surprised me and made me feel a little guilty. But it also occurred to me that the reason I had stopped dwelling on my loss, was that I was truly at peace with my decision. Someone once said, “You cannot dry-clean grief away, it must be washed away with tears.” When we love deeply, we grieve deeply. As a birth mother, I encourage you to give yourself permission to feel what you feel without apology. Allow the tears to flow so that healing can occur.
I wish I could say that after giving birth to my son, my life turned my life around completely, but I still had work to do. I had received deliverance during my pregnancy crisis through the wonderful option of adoption, but I still needed spiritual deliverance from my sin. Shortly after Nick’s birth, I met a man who I thought was cute, and started dating him. Well, God fooled me, because this man was a Christian, who began to minister the Gospel to me. He shared Romans 3:23 with me, which says, “All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” I also read John 3:16: “God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” I soon began to see the truth about my life from God’s perspective: I was a sinner who needed to be rescued! I finally yielded to the Lord’s leading and received Jesus as my personal Savior . . . and I married that cute guy!
Today, my greatest source of strength comes from Romans 8:1, which states, “There is no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” God took the shipwreck of my life and began to change me from the inside out. He delivered my son from abortion because of the option of adoption, and he gave me the spiritual rescue I did not deserve. He reminds me periodically of Isaiah 1:18, which says, “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be a white as snow: though they are red like crimson they shall be as white as wool.” There had been plenty of scarlet in my life, but God, through His incredible mercy and his amazing grace, washed me white as snow.
I have seen how God’s truly amazing grace calms the storms of life and points us to the One who can deliver us. On those days when you don’t feel so courageous, those of you who have been delivered from sin through the grace and power of Jesus Christ can take comfort in the promise that God will never leave you nor forsake you. If you have not experienced spiritual deliverance in Jesus Christ and are assured of this wonderful promise, I pray that you will come to know the Lord in this wonderful and personal way. If you are a post-abortive women and are in need of healing from that experience, check out my radio interview on Cradle My Heart with Kim Kotoa at:
http://myfaithradio.com/2013/colleen-tronson/
When John Newton was on that ship and all seemed lost, he clung to the One Who meant everything to him. He trusted that God was able to keep him secure by his mercy and grace. In Jesus Christ, we can do the same.
---- Colleen Tronson
