today…

I smell like sunscreen
{Larkin loves sleeping in her stroller at the swimming pool}

We have an interview for our first adoption grant

I cooked a real vegetable, and we sat at the table and ate a meal
{that hasn’t been happening too much in the last month}

I have not showered yet and it’s 3:30pm

I have to think of something to buy Wade for his birthday

I got this tiny urge inside of me for her to grow up so I can see what her personality will be like…. and about 3 seconds later I cuddled with her longer and was so glad she is still small.

Larkin took a 3 hour nap {success} this afternoon and gave me time to sit down at the computer and write this. 

Today… I am so grateful to be Larkin’s mommy.
{even if that means we eat take out and I don’t shower some days}

She is mine, and I am hers.

Don’t worry, I have not magically disappeared. I am not lost, or kidnapped, or in a coma. {well I feel like I’m in a coma sometimes… the sleep deprivation kind}

can we just stay like this… forever please?

I am simply enjoying my days at home with her.
2 more weeks til I go back to work part time.

Here are a few “stats” for you to enjoy for the time being…

She was 7 pounds 10 ounces last Friday at her doctor’s appointment.
yikes.
That’s almost a pound over her birth weight… at 2 weeks and 2 days.

Her hair is already growing, and getting curlier by the minute it almost seems. I also discovered today, that the hair on the back of her head is suddenly frizzy.

Larkin’s BFF was born Saturday night. Remember our friends the Van Ruler's who were one of the couples going through the adoption process with us? Sweet baby Amayah is here, and we are soo excited to meet her sometime soon. 

{things are about to take a turn here, and get a whole lot of mommy mushy.}

Larkin is my sunshine. I can’t possibly kiss her enough, or hold her tight enough. I can’t stare at her enough, or savor every tiny baby noise and movement enough to save the feeling for a day when she’s big. I feel like my heart is simply not capable of loving her enough. 

Her big brown eyes stare up at me with the light of the moon shining in the window in the middle of the night, {past the edge of the bottle that is still almost as big as her little face}

she always sneezes 3 times in a row.  

Her little arms fly through the air and her fingers all stick straight out and yet wiggle at the same time…much like ET.  We call those alien arms.

I have taken almost 1000 pictures of her in her 19 days of life. Nope, not kidding you…   (Sorry, they can’t be posted online yet)

I talk to her in baby talk all the time (I need to quit that…) and I sing Christmas songs to her everyday. Jingle bell rock is her favorite too. she told me. 

There is no doubt God created her for me, and me for her.
She is mine, and I am hers.

a tiny baby, a great big purpose.

God knew.

He knew that this last year would be our greatest test, and He would parallel that stretching of who we were with the gift of this new baby and who we’ve become. 

A 2 weeks ago today my eyes flew open after a restless night of sleep and I jumped out of bed.
June 1.  fiiiinally.
I walked into the hotel bathroom and I remembered… this very day the year before I also had a restless night and ran into the bathroom to take a pregnancy test.  

He knew how that would turn out. He knew Jude. But at that very same moment when we started to prepare for him, God was preparing her.  He knew Larkin already then, and that she would be ours.  

I sat in the chair at 4am rocking Larkin… her big brown eyes staring up at me.  For the first time, in the quiet darkness of the night, reality set in. 
She is here.
She is perfect, and the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. 
She is alive.
My heart belongs to her.
I thought about Jude, and how it felt to hold him in my arms. And how in what seems like the blink of an eye God would bless my life in this way again. And she has rocked my world.    


{We are just enjoying every single minute with our little girl; who is already growing like a weed. At 8 days old she was half a pound over her birth weight already… yes hungry hungry hippo I tell you.} 

birth announcement

daddy’s love.

he is smitten. He also can’t stand to hear her cry. {grin}

We have been calling her our hungry hungry hippo… she does loove to eat.

She is definitely rocking the curly mullet.

Most of the newborn clothes we have for her are still too big. She is just teeny tiny. (a little over 6 pounds)

She is the most alert newborn I have ever seen.

We are hoping to get the okay to leave the state to travel back home in the next couple of days… oh it will feel good to have her home.

the birth {Larkin LeNeta}

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139:13-16

We have waited for you little princess.
Oh, how we have waited for you.
How we have longed for you, for this moment when we would finally meet you.
When God gave us you.

and just like that; our hearts were no longer ours, because they belonged to her.  She was the one whom we had prayed for, and dreamed of all those days. It was her.

birth.day.

her new wall decor.

happy birthday beautiful girl.

and she is just so stinkin beautiful.
10 minutes before the c-section I told Wade I didn’t think I would cry.
I sobbed. Like so much my little blue paper thing that covered my mouth was wet from tears.  
Later I will tell you how I’m pretty sure that God created my heart to love her.

Happy Birthday Larkin.
God is good.

(this is the part where you wish her a Happy Birthday too!)